Op

This was the most difficult thing I have ever had to go through. I went to the doctor on Thursday 11 December to discuss the procedure once again and ask the final questions, then on Friday I went to for the Sentinel Node Mapping. The injected into my breast, which I might add was sore, due to my breasts been sensitive from PMT. I then went for lunch with my work, which was so nice. On Friday night we took food and had supper with Ed's brother and family. At about 7:30 I started feeling very emotional and just wanted to leave. Then a neighbour of my brother-in-law came to collect their kids and she told me about the terrible experience she had in the same hospital and how they never did this and never did that,which made me even more anxious. We finally got to the hospital at about 8:30 the evening and booked in etc. Ed and the boys eventually left at about 10, Gareth had fallen asleep on my bed. I was very emotional by the time that they left and was crying the whole time. This was the most difficult thing that we had ever gone through, both Ed and I. After all the paperwork and observations etc, I was left alone. Before Ed left, he asked them for a sleeping tab for me or just something to calm me down. I picked up my phone at about 11 and decided that I just can not go through with this, I am here telling them it is fine that they remove my breast, am I absolutely crazy???? All I could do was focus on God and He helped me focus on my wonderful husband and 2 children and the rest of my family. I realised that I really do not have a choice and that I owe this to myself as well as to my husband and children. I think the most difficult thing is that I don't feel sick, just a bit tired. I fell into a deep sleep, so deep that the sister came the next morning and said she tried to give me the sleeping tab, but I was sleeping so peacefully. ALL THANKS TO GOD, IS HE NOT AWESOME TO GIVE US SUCH INCREDIBLE PEACE AT A TIME WHEN OUR WORLD FEELS AS THOUGH IT IS FALLING APART?????
I really thought I was fine, going into theatre on my own, but i was so scared, but a different type of scared, not the same as the previous night. God is so amazing, he sent me an angel, he sent my sister-in-law Jeanette to be with me, she came all the way into theatre, or so it felt, not actually sure at what point she was stopped. She held my hand and really gave me such encouragement.
The next thing I remember was waking up in my room with Ed and my mom at my side. Ed and the boys then came later to visit, but let me tell you I was sooooo sick, I could not stop vomiting,which was terrible. I also could not stop sleeping, i felt absolutely awful, but it was nice to know that my family was there and I begged them not to leave until they really had to. I also said to Ed that I hope I don't feel like this all the time. The op was 4 hours long and I think the effect of the anaesthetic was just too much for me. Sunday I felt so much better and could at least speak to my family and friends. I was so relieved when Ed told me that my lymph glands were clear.
Every day just got better and better and eventually I was discharged on Thursday.

On Friday evening my doctor called me to say that the results were back and in fact there was cancer in the lymph glands and I am going back to theatre on Tuesday for that to be removed. Not exactly sure what time etc. but will update tonight.
On Saturday night Rose arrived, my sister-in-law and Jade to be with us for tomorrow.

I will do a more detailed update on my hospital stay as there are a couple of stories to share after this next op. I also have some photos of my in hospital as well as the stunning view which I had from my window. I just can't type too long, get too tired to sit too long.

Thank you to Rose for updating my blog and also my breast buddies site.

Thank you also to all of you for your love and support and prayers, it really means a lot to us.

God bless you all over Christmas

Lots of love

Lin